Losing someone special

When we lose someone special, we can experience a mix of emotions: shock, grief, guilt, sadness, anger, bitterness, abandonment, or we can just feel numb. Although painful and at times overwhelming, these feelings allow us to process the death and make sense of the relationship we had with the person who has died.

It is good to talk to mutual friends and family members about how we are feeling and what we miss about our loved one, our favourite stories of them, and perhaps what we fear about the future. This can help us process those difficult emotions but can also help us feel less alone in our grief.

Grief rituals are another positive way in which to help us adjust to the death. Individual rituals such as looking through and sharing photos, lighting a candle, writing a letter to the deceased and creating a memory box can offer time for reflection and provide connection with your loved one. Group rituals such as returning to special places, planting something in remembrance and performing acts of service in their honour, can be a powerful and moving experience.

Sometimes we may want to withdraw with our grief, sometimes we may want to distract ourselves from the pain, sometimes we won’t want to be alone. There is no right way or wrong and everyone’s journey is different. However, understanding and accepting our needs is key to managing our grief and developing a sense of control.

Bereavement counselling is one way of helping you with your journey. It will provide you with the time to remember and honour your loved one, it will provide a safe space in which you can process those difficult emotions without judgement, and it will provide the tools to cope with your grief and re-engage with life.

At Campden Home Nursing we offer bereavement counselling to anyone in our catchment area who has lost a loved one within the last five years. You can refer yourself for counselling or be referred through your GP once 3 months have passed. We are happy to provide telephone advice in the months beforehand or you could look to self-help through the links shown below.

We also offer teen counselling and play therapy for those aged 4-12 years. We run a bereavement support group and a bereavement café once per month.

Here are some other places where you can find information and support.

Samaritans: 24hr helpline for those in a moment of crisis 116 123

Marie Curie Bereavement support line: 0800 090 2309

Silverline: 24hr helpline and befriending service for older people 0800 470 80 90

www.cruse.org.uk (bereavement care for anyone): facts and info on grief, plus web chat

helpline: 0808 808 1677

www.ataloss.org grief counselling chat, practical advice, nationwide signposting

www.bereavementuk.co.uk Bereavement podcasts and articles

www.uksobs.org support specifically for those affected by suicide (18+)

www.brake.org.uk charity offering support to people bereaved from road accidents

www.widowedandyoung.org.uk Support network for loss of partner if aged 50 and under

www.way-up.co.uk online self-help network for those widowed over 50

www.childdeathhelpline.org.uk freephone helpline supporting the loss of a child 0800 282 986

www.petalscharity.org specialist counselling charity for baby loss

www.hopeagain.org.uk  (part of cruse): Advice and support for young people coping with loss.

Winston’s Wish: Drop-in bereavement support groups for children and young people 08088 020 021

www.thegrief.network: community by and for young grieving people

Griefcast: a podcast discussing how we deal with grief

App for young people: Grief – support for young people

Online tool for young people: Help 2 make sense

For advice and practical matters surrounding deathwww.gov.uk/when-somone-dies